'BAKIT SINGLE KA PA RIN?' Love Guru Explains Why!

Possibilities why one remains single. 
'Why are you still single?' This is the question one must face when they often go out and have a get together, such as family reunions.

There are three reasons why one can still remain single, according to Noreen Capili, a 'love guru' who is famous for his books "Parang Kayo Pero Hindi" and "Buti Pa Ang Roma May Bagong Papa" .

In the program, "SAKTO" in DZMM. She said that three reasons are categorized into circumstance, chance, and choice.

Circumstance

Circumstance is the reason why people can not control the cause of being single, such as time or work.



"Circumstance kasi busy, subsob 'yong ulo sa work kaya walang time na makipag-date to meet new people," Capili said.



In such a situation, is there a really happy single?

"Many!" they say. Other people often add, 'I'm okay with my career, married to my job, married to my laptop', those who are not married. "Okay ako sa career ko, married to my job, married to my laptop', mga gano'n. Kasi 'yong marriage hindi siya sagot sa problema, hindi siya escape. Option na siya e. Siguro 'yong mga iba rin, nakikita nila sa ibang tao na two years, three years na kinakasal, wala na. Na-trauma kaya okay na akong ganito," Capili said.
According to an observation of a program host Marc Logan, probably people's perspective of being single is affected by how television and movies show them, that being single is fun. 

The stigma now is no longer at age 30, according to Capili. She said, it's still a good thing to be single as long as you are happy, and without anyone judging you. 

Chance
Chance is the reason for getting new people and recognizing new people, but not having the opportunity to have the same feelings for each other.


"Chance kasi walang nanliligaw o 'yong tipong 'yong gusto mo, ayaw sa 'yo. O 'yong may gusto naman sa 'yo pero ayaw mo, parang gano'n," she said.





This is also one of the reasons why there are more single women than men are, according to Capili, based on the people she talked to. 




"Mas maraming single na babae ngayon kasi unang-una, 'yong lalaki kasi kaya nilang gumawa ng paraan para hindi maging single. 'Di ba manliligaw lang sila, ganun, mag-e-express ng love. Ang rason kasi nila hindi ko naman sila girlfriend kaya hindi naman ako nangangaliwa, kung baga fling-fling lang."

"Sa babae naman, 'yong mga iba, naghihintay pa rin. Kasi hindi pa rin tanggap sa society [natin] na 'yong babae 'yong nanliligaw, sila 'yong nagfi-first move. Kaya maraming babaeng nagiging single, kasi hindi naman sila makapag-first move. Kasi 'yong mga lalaki may instinct sila [na manligaw] kasi hunter sila, gusto ka nilang kino-conquer," explains Capili.
Logan, however, said, "Yong iba naman nangongolekta ng puso."


Choice
"Choice kasi it's either ayaw mag-settle or 'pagod na akong magmahal' or 'mahal ko pa 'yong dati'."



Another reason why a person chooses to remain single is because of the freedom to enjoy alone, such as traveling to different places, Capili added.



"Mayroon namang gadgets na puwede kang mag-picture ng sarili mo, maligaya ka na nang mag-isa. Kaya mo namang kumain mag-isa. Wala naman sa kaniya ang abrelata," Perez said.



Logan points out that there are also instances where two people do not have a 'label' or a relationship what other calls, "MU o parang kayo pero hindi" 

Perez replied, "Kasi siguro ngayon maraming ayaw pa sa konsumisyon, may extra baggage ka."

Spark or Compatibility?

If you just feel 'spark' or the feeling that you feel in the initial recognition of a new person, you may be open to the possibilities.



Capili emphasized that in children, they look for 'spark', though while they last, as a person grows up, comfort and companionship is what they are looking for.



So Capili asks for people who are looking for sparks, "When you are three to four years in a relationship, where is your spark?"



SOURCE: ABS-CBN News